Clear Your Space – by Jillian White

Hello SOTGC community,

I hope you are continuing to work on your ‘Spring Me’ initiatives to get back and stay on track to being your best you.

Many of the ideas that I share with you come from my personal conversations. When I notice that I share the same guidance numerous times, and I see that people are having that “ah-ha” moment, that is when I decide it’s important enough to share with you. As a “thirty-something” New York woman, I have become more honest than ever before. Couth, instilled in me by my motherand my own personal sensitivity, helps me keep the balance of not being too invasive in others’ lives. Although, once you ask for my advice, I usually respond with, “Are you sure? You know you will only get the truth from me!”

Clear your space. This is something I say to my single friends who are looking for love.  Let me preface this by saying that I have some of the most amazing friends that anyone could ask for, and, on top of that, they are intelligent, successful, beautiful women.

Nicole* and I were talking over brunch one Sunday at a favorite spot downtown. As usual, we were talking about relationships. She was sharing her dating stories, past and present (this would be a book in itself), when I noticed that she kept coming back to one person, John,* whom she dated about a year ago. The relationship with him was never what I thought she deserved, and the break up with John was almost worse. Think, Berger and the Post-it from Sex and the City, but our current tech ways—on text. The comparisons began about the men she was dating now and relating them back to John.

I jumped in and said, “Nicole do you want my honest opinion?” With slight reluctance (knowing what she might be in for) she accepted. “Nicole, many of these guys sound like they have great qualities and many really seem to complement you. But you aren’t letting them in because you haven’t cleared your space.” She looked at me inquisitively as she sipped her Bloody Mary. “Your space, in your mind, has been so clouded with John that you haven’t been able to see clearly what’s right in front of you. You’re missing the good ones! I think you need to take some time and officially grieve your past relationships. Then pick yourself back up and do all of the things that make you happy; reading, running, volunteering, New York brunches. When you go out on your next date, you will be able to give this person a fair chance to get to know the true you and you can open your mind to seeing only him.”

Clearing your space can relate not only to intimate relationships but career and other aspects of your life. Is there something that is clouding your mind? Take the time to acknowledge it, address it, let it go and move on so you can continue to be your best you.

*Names have been changed for individuals’ privacy

**Note: all images on my column come from Spafinder Wellness 365^TM

If you know someone who you love and needs to clear their space, please share this post with them and hope it inspires them to clear space to allow for love.

 

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