Hello SOTGC community,
When you are in a rut, trying to make a decision, or even just having a bad day, it’s really easy to sink into the mindset that things must be better somewhere else. The question you really want to ask yourself is if that is really true, and how you might be able to improve your current situation.
My husband and I have been having a lengthy discourse (spanning over many years) as to where we’d like to live, and we continued to discuss the topic on a recent walk on the beach.
We currently live in southern California, a place where the sun shines most of the time, and winter weather means you might have to wear a light sweater. There are a lot of people that would love to live here, and I can’t blame them.
It’s funny though, as I sit here writing this on my computer while looking out at my ocean view, there is still a part of me that wants more, or better put, something different.
What am I missing? Well, for starters, Culture, with a capital ‘C’; San Diego isn’t exactly a diverse, cultural Mecca. I also miss the energy that comes from living closer to a world-class city (and by city I mean either San Francisco or Toronto, both cities that I love, and have also resided).
The crux is that all of this thinking does nothing for my happiness. In fact, it only makes me miserable. That’s because what I’m doing is focusing on a sense of lack, or should I say, perceived lack.
So what do you do when you find yourself in this kind of self-imposed misery? It all involves shifting your thinking in ways that will help you grow your own “green grass,” right where you are.
The first way to do this is to shift your focus to gratitude. It can be done in an instant, and it will help your inner existence find more joy.
In my situation, for example, I can choose to focus on my perceived sense of lack, or I can notice that it’s a beautiful sunny day, one that allowed me to walk around in shorts in March. I can wish that I had access to better restaurants, or I can be thankful that I have access to a bounty of fresh fruits and vegetables all year round. I can wish that there were endless hotspots for me to wear my high heels to, or I could be thankful that my “uniform” is much more relaxed and comfortable (with the reality check that as the mother to a toddler, I wouldn’t be out on the town much anyway).
The second solution involves varying degrees of creativity, and basically requires making the best out of your situation. In other words, it is about creating the experiences that you believe you are missing out on.
I might crave being able to go to an art museum filled with some classics, but without access to many of those galleries locally, I will instead pull out some of my art books and enjoy the art in a different way.
In the example of wanting to get dolled up and go out, I can always invite friends over, play some great music, and dress up in those heels. It may not be quite the same, but at the end of the day, it will likely give me exactly what I need.
The grass is always greener elsewhere; at least that’s what we allow ourselves to believe. It’s that mythical green grass that can keep us unhappy and ungrateful.
Wherever you are, try to look for the goodness in your surroundings, and in your life. And then improvise. You are in control of your own happiness. Be happy now, and plant your own green grass.
Have you found any creative ways to make the best of your situation, or your surroundings? Have you felt happier as a result? We’d all love to hear about it in the comments below!
If you know any women that may need some inspiration for growing their own green grass, please share this article on Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn or Facebook!!