Hello SOTGC community,
Show of hands, who here is completely confused by what has become “dating” in this digitally driven world that we live in today? I remember when I was a kid I would hear my Grandma and Mom tell me how they met their husbands, and I would think “that will be me some day.”
Twenty years later the world of “online dating” is launched, and boy has it evolved in the past ten years. When it first started people were very secretive about it. Who here was on the first version of Match.com or E-Harmony and thought something along these lines, as you were filling out your online profile late at night with your doors locked and shades drawn closed?
New Online Dater: OK. We’re doing this tonight! Pictures, need to include one of my face so they know I’m cute, and then one with my full body so they know what I look like, I don’t want to look like a slut but I also don’t want them to think I can’t dress up and look good. Oh jeez! Now I have to write out my biography?! What can I write that says: “I’m single but not desperate?” Wait, do I really want to be searching for a date online??? I mean…if I’m so bad at dating do I want to be looking for someone who is equally as bad at this as I am? I mean shouldn’t ONE of us have our shit together and not need to be on here?
Let’s be honest, most of us thought something along those lines the first time we filled out an online dating profile. When online dating first came onto the scene, everyone who was single and in a large city was on it, but no one wanted to admit it.
Ten years later, you’d be hard pressed to find any single person in a large city who isn’t on AT LEAST two online dating websites. Now we even have phone apps to make dating “easy and on the go.”
In my parent’s era, dating meant sitting down for coffee or a meal with someone. The man would pick the lady up from her house, meet her parents, and take her on a date that he had been pre-planned and asked for her time in advance. Now dating consists of opening up an app on your phone and seeing what other single people are within a 10 mile radius of you and swiping right if you’re interested in the pictures this person has chose to represent themselves with, or swiping left if the person looks like a potential serial killer.
I think the thing that confuses me the most is that with all this swiping left and right, how do you really get to know someone? Has it gotten to the point where we’re more comfortable with messaging each other through a software application than with turning to the person next to us and striking up a conversation? I swear that when I’m out with my friends at a bar I can spot the guys who are scanning their phones, then the crowd, to see who in that bar is on their particular dating app and using that as an ice breaker. Instead of going up to someone you’re interested in and striking up a conversation, face to face, figuring out if there is an intellectual as well as physical chemistry, we now use a swipe of the finger to let that person know we like them.
Have we gotten to the point where we’re dating in “real time” instead of dating for real?
“The modern woman” is a group of females, single and in relationships, who write about everything from dating to family life. She exists, in part, in all of us and writes about the joys and hardships that every modern woman faces in this day and age.