Hello SOTGC community,
“My career is my relationship.” That’s what I used to say.
If there’s any truth to this statement, then it’s fair to say I’ve been in a few serious relationships.
See how many of these sound familiar:
The traditional old-fashioned relationship …
Maybe you can relate. Mine was arranged by my parents. My role was to answer phones, make coffee, order lunch, and look pretty. It was okay for a while. I learned a lot and, above all, I learned I needed and wanted more. After a year, we parted ways. I was young. What can I say?
Think about your first job. What did you gain and what did you learn? How can you, or have you, used those lessons to contribute to your success?
The rose-colored glasses relationship …
You date for a bit and have some long-term relationships. You even try dating outside of your “type” and try something completely new. And then it happens. You meet the one that’s going to make it all better.
That’s when I met Sales.
Sales was so much fun. Sales knew how to woo me. We went on luxury retreats at five-star resorts and dined at the finest and hottest restaurants in town. Sales took me to Laker games, to see Paul McCartney, Aerosmith, and the best Broadway shows. Sales lived large and always had the premium seats. Sales bought me a nice car, a house with a view of the mountains on one side and the Pacific Ocean on the other.
I fell hard for Sales and I’ll admit, it was the money.
But like everything else, things changed. Eventually, the excitement wore off and the stress of this relationship was outweighing the fun we were having. I felt like something was missing, and I wanted more. Sales tried. More money, more concerts, more trips, more stress. Eventually, it wasn’t enough and after 15 years, I couldn’t do it anymore. It was an amicable split, or, as Gwyneth would say, “a conscious uncoupling.”
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting or making lots of money, so long as you are aware and accepting of everything that comes with it (more responsibility, sometimes more stress, but also more opportunity).
The friends first relationship …
It took me a good five years to heal, figure out what I really wanted, and I knew this time would be different. I had been coaching people for years, but never considered it as a career. It was a passion and a hobby. But suddenly something had changed. I changed. I started my coaching practice and never looked back. I’m happier, more fulfilled and really enjoy the people I work with. Does this mean every day is like a fairytale? Absolutely not.
But here’s the thing … when you truly are connected with something (or someone) you love, it makes it a lot easier to get through the rough patches because you’re committed and know somehow it will end up as good or even better than you had hoped.
Also, I gave up saying, “My career is my relationship.” Because it isn’t.
A career is what you do. It’s not who you are.
A career can never replace a real relationship. Only another human being (especially yourself) can do that.
Looking back at your own career, how many relationships have you had? Think about why you chose them. Are you happy? Are there places where you can strengthen your current situation? Do you keep repeating the same pattern or are you fully committed? And, if you’re celebrating an upcoming anniversary, post pics!
Since SOTGC was created to be a forum for discussion we’d love it if you joined the conversation. Please comment with your thoughts below and have a great day.