Photo credit: lolpics.se
Good morning SOTGC readers. This amazingly prolific title is an actual quote from my mother (who normally does NOT cuss) during a phone conversation we had this past weekend. I think any person, male or female, who has any amount of responsibility and obligations in their life deals with earning a PhD in “worrying.” Though the majority of people I interact with at work will tell you that I am always smiling, or saying something random or positive about any given situation, I internalize a TON of worry. A large portion of it is about work, but a good amount comes from realizing that I have a huge responsibility to the people I care about and I worry about their well being almost more so than mine.
Failure is not something I relish, whether it’s work related or personal. There have been some decisions I have made in the past year that due to the outcomes, I feel I have failed both myself and others. This leads me to second guess and worry about every decision I’m currently making and the various possible outcomes and failures that these current decisions could bring.
I was having a bad night and I reached out to my Mom, as I often do lately, since she is good at either giving me a big hug or kicking me in the seat of my pants, depending on what the situation warrants. I was getting right into a good pity party and picking up momentum when she stopped me short and said “What the heck are you doing wasting your time worrying about this for?! Maybe you should just go to bed? I could spend half my time worrying about your father as he’s biking down the highway each week. Or I could worry about getting cancer. But what good is that going to do me? Shit happens…so why not wait to worry about HOW we need to deal with it once it does, instead of worrying about outcomes that haven’t even happened?” My Mom does not tolerate un-necessary pity parties, nor does she let me wallow in sorrow, in fact she often tells me that self pity is a luxury for the well-to-do and it’s neither productive nor helpful. In fact, she thinks it’s a complete waste of energy.
So what is the point in worrying about things that we cannot predict? If we base our decisions off of the fear of negative outcomes, how do we know we aren’t creating self fulfilling prophesies? Instead, our energy could best be spent focusing on the decision at hand, the actions we need to complete to move it forward, and hope for the best while planning for all possible circumstances.